Isolating Myself | A Meditation Practice I Do Often

As I travel the world, or simply take leaps of faith with my career, I like to take the time to isolate myself from the world. I find a quiet place and I try to be as in-the-moment as possible. This includes asking myself:

Where am I right this second?

How am I feeling right now?

What am I doing with my life currently?

What are my plans for the next couple of days?

What are my plans for the next couple of months?

Where do I want to be in a year from now?

I do this alone so I don’t feel pressured to answer these questions with someone or something else in mind. I try to isolate myself so I can make some pretty overwhelming realizations and begin planning my next steps to a brighter future.

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While I was pushing myself to climb up the Great Wall of China, I found a little window where I could sit and just think about my life. While doing so, I took the moment to talk to myself (well technically my GoPro) about why I isolate myself often, especially when traveling, and what it does for me. Check out the short video below of this little talk I had with myself:

(It’s a bit hard to hear with the wind overpowering my voice, so I have transcribed it. Click on the CC button to turn on the subtitles, or follow along below)

“Everytime I travel I like to take time alone and just like think, and breathe, and be in the moment. I try to like appreciate what I am doing and where I am at. So right now I am sitting on the Great Wall of China and just looking out. Appreciating everything I’ve done so far and it about to happen. And appreciating this opportunity that I get (to travel annually). So, yeah, I like that alone time when I travel just because it gives me that inner perspective and spiritual cleanse, I guess I’d say. So that’s what I’m doing right now. Yeah, I think it’s important to take that time and everything to do what you want or take that time alone. Some days I take that time alone to sit and just talk and be by yourself and everything. I feel like we’re caught up in this world where we’re constantly surrounded by people, even if we’re not physically not with them, but because of our phones, everything where we get to be connected to everyone. I like these opportunities to kind of disconnect from everything and just be with the world and with myself and clear some things up in my head.”

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Do you meditate at all? If so, how do you do it? I’d love to hear how most of you take time out of your day to live in the moment.

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3 Things I Learned from Moving Across the Country.

Tuesday, June 10 – 3:30 AM

We left New York around 12:30 AM. By this time, Lexi (my sister) and I were on I-80 cruising at 65 mph.

Holy shit, what have I gotten myself into? I completely underestimated this drive across the country. We’re 3 hours into 42 hours of total driving. You can still turn back, Tom. We haven’t gotten that far, yet.

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I’ve been living in San Diego for 10 days at this point. I still think back to all of these thoughts I had rumbling around as I stared out at a pitch-black windshield, only able to see as far as my dinky headlights can shine. Lexi was sleeping so it was me, myself, and my thoughts. I started becoming terrified of what was happening and I almost bailed. If I had, I would have never learned these 3 life-changing lessons:

Lesson#1: The United States is really fucking big.

The thought, “I completely underestimated this drive…,” was not wrong at all. I totally did. Now it made sense why everyone’s reaction to me saying, “I’m driving there,” was, “REALLY?!” I did not think it was as big of a deal as it really was.

Driving cross country is something everyone should check off their bucket lists. I will be the first to tell you: it is 100% glamorized. I’m not kidding, points of my trip required me to drive 10+ hours on flat nothingness but grass. It was boring and longer than you can fathom until you’re living through it. The magic of doing so, on the other hand, is I completing the trip and fully understanding how big the US is. In reality, I didn’t even see much of it, but still allowed me to grasp the vastness of this country. The United States is really fucking big.

Lesson #2: You are in more control of your reality than you think.

If I turned around at 3 am on the first stretch of the journey, my life would have gone in a completely different direction. I acknowledged the thoughts I was having were irrational. I believed I could do it and I kept going. I remembered I wanted to live in San Diego and I kept going. I kept going. I am in complete control of my reality.

I decided I was moving here and I did it. If you establish something you want, someone you want to be, or somewhere you want to live, and you never lose sight of that, you’ll get it.

As long as you can realign your thought process when you’re doubting yourself, you’ll be empowered and even impress yourself. It may scare you shitless, but if you work a little past that, it’s all downhill. You are in more control of your reality than you think.

Lesson #3: Execution is key to getting what you want.

After I battled my own doubtful thoughts, I realized what I was in the process of doing doing – I was moving across the entire country. Ultimately, this made me realize my decision making process. I don’t think about the emotional part of things – I take an idea, use logic to figure out the steps on how to obtain it, then execute appropriately.

I didn’t want to be in New York anymore, so I wasn’t going to stay there.

Now where do I go? I’ve been to Colorado and I wouldn’t be upset living there. Also, Natalie, a college roommate, makes San Diego look great. Okay, cool, there.

I know there wasn’t really much logic to this decision making; however, it was simply an idea in which I figured, why not? I love new experiences so my first experience there would be moving in. Seemed pretty cool to me.

I wanted to move to San Diego because it appeared to be an amazing place to pick everything up and start my professional life. From there, I figured out the necessary steps to make it there and I executed. Execution is the key to getting what you want.

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July 23, 2018 – 10:23 PM

I’m sitting in my backyard surrounded by the sounds of cricket and I can see the stars. Yeah, it’s only been 10 days, but it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life. Now I can happily say, in San Diego, “I’m home.”

Why I Cannot Stand Living on Long Island Anymore

I lived in a house with 7 other people. It was a college house and, inevitably, we wound up going through a lot of cans and bottles. From the beginning of our lease-year, we collected our empties and brought them to Target to deposit them and get the money back.

One time I went with my housemates to deposit the bottles. I was standing on line at customer service with a handful of receipts from the deposit machines. “I can help who’s next.” I walked over to the counter where the lady was standing. “Hi, how are you? I just want to cash these in.” She grabbed my receipts and quickly handed me the cash in return, “Have a good day.”

This encounter may seem perfectly normal. It was – especially because it happened on Long Island. The thing that bothered me most about this was not how direct and short the conversation/exchange was, but the fact that she didn’t even look up. I completed the entire transaction without the Target woman even looking me in the eyes. I don’t know why, but this pissed me the fuck off. It was rude and the worst “customer service” I’ve ever received.

Let’s talk about another circumstance which highlights why I cannot stand living on Long Island anymore. Driving. Now, I have a feeling this problem exists everywhere in the world, but people do not even ackowledge each other’s existence here. When I drive, I follow the right-of-way laws. Far too many times recently, I’ve noticed people don’t give a shit about who’s around them and they drive as if they’re the only ones on the road. I cannot begin to tell you how many times I let people go, even if it’s my turn, and they cannot even put their hand to communicate “thank you.” I’m not letting them go for the thank you, but the least you can do is acknowledge my existence.

And finally, everyone needs to either smoke some weed or take a chill pill. I am disgusted by people’s attitude toward each other for absolutely no reason. I’ve lived on Long Island for 22 and a half years now. I’ve always known this was the general attitude here, however it’s more in my face than ever before. I’m absolutely sick of this “I’m the best” perspective most people here seem to have. We should be helping each other out, not making each other’s lives more stressful.

These are just a few of hundreds of reasons I cannot wait to move off of Long Island. I can no longer live a life where people do not acknowledge each other’s existence. I love Long Island and it will always be home, but I think if I stayed here any longer, I would never step foot here again. If you live on Long Island, please take a moment to observe the way people here interact with each other. If you can make it better, please do. I feel I’m going to move away and never want to come back because this general attitude is only going to get worse.

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Does anyone else feel the same way about where they life? How do you combat the way society interacts with people? I think it’s time to we take it upon ourselves to make this world better, even if not everyone is on board.

My Start as a Social Media Manager and Digital Marketer for CANZ Westbury

I went to Hofstra University for 4 years straight. We, Hofstra students, had the strip of bars for a while and they were awful, but we couldn’t resist going there. Unfortunately, we were left without a place to hang out by the end of my 3rd year as a student there. At that point, I was 21 years old and ready to go to a bar without having any issues. It wasn’t until December 2017, towards the end of my first semester of my senior year, when I found the chillest bar I’ve ever stepped into: CANZ.

My sister got hired and was training one day in December when I decided to pay a visit. I walked in and was immediately drawn to it. It was the perfect mix of a bar and grill; music was bumping and the drinks were great, while people still sat down and enjoyed a meal. It was like McHebes with tables to sit at. Lit.

After a few visits, I wanted to be part of the fun and business. I was a Marketing major and focusing on going down the Social Media Marketing route. I checked out their Instagram and Facebook pages and, to be brutally honest, I was appalled. They were posting low-quality pictures of basically nothing with captions such as, “Holllla!” Not even I could take it seriously. I took it upon myself to contact their management team with an interest in helping out with their social media presence. Within a day, I was asked to come in to discuss a job opportunity.

When I began, I didn’t have much responsibility. I wasn’t given any direction – I was only given the log ins for each of their accounts. I wasn’t getting paid anything but I was okay with it – I looked at it as an “internship” opportunity. I wasn’t even posting for them – I only edited their captions and threw some hashtags on their posts. But because they were still posting unprofessionally, I started stressing out that they’re making themselves look a fraction of how cool the restaurant really is.

The obstacle was they didn’t want to take the one person who was doing their social media off of it. By the end of January, I stopped helping out. I would catch myself laying in bed unable to fall asleep because I was thinking of ideas they could do to make their pages better and I was always checking to see if there were things misspelt. I couldn’t stress out about it when they didn’t even give me any direction or tasks.

A few weeks later, the owner of CANZ Westbury called me in to discuss their social media pages. Long story short, I was hired as the Social Media Manager and Digital Marketer for CANZ shortly after I had taken a step back from it.

Since the beginning of February, I’ve been working on managing their social media accounts and running advertisements through Facebook and Instagram. I’ve learned a lot in such a short amount of time in this role. I’m beyond grateful for the opportunity CANZ has given me – I’m turning what I do for them into my own personal business.

As with any job, there’s always more to learn. I’m beyond grateful for the experiences and knowledge I’ve obtained through CANZ and I cannot wait to see where it takes me in my online business.

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Are there any other social media managers or digital marketers reading this? Do you have any tips or tricks to be better than ever at this particular job? Comment below! I’d love to hear from you!

A Personal Letter To Danceworks as My Time As President Comes To An End

“Congratulations, Tom, you are now officially the President of Danceworks Productions.”

Around a year ago today, I was inducted as President of the most incredible club I’ve every known about. For those of you who don’t know what this club does, let me briefly explain. Danceworks Productions is the largest organization at Hofstra University with over 150 member. It is also a completely student run organization. We audition choreographers and select 11-13 dance pieces which will be in our production. A few days later, we hold dancer auditions where these choreographers show their dances and select their casts after a four-hour process. As the semester continues, each dance has an hour and a half rehearsal once a week leading up to the show.  As all of this work is being done, we participate in multiple social events to build a bond amongst the club and the Hofstra community, as well as a handful of philanthropy events where we raise money for various charities. We, as a club, do this every semester (so twice per academic year). There is no other club on Hofstra University’s campus that does all of this – it’s truly remarkable.

From Fall 2015-Spring 2017 I served as the Publicity and Promotions chair. I promoted the auditions and shows through various mediums, as well as designed all of the apparel for those two years. Following this role, I had the privilege and honor to be President of this incredible club. At the point in time I am writing this, I only have around 24 hours left as President of Hofstra University Danceworks Productions President. As I reminisce about my time at Hofstra, Danceworks has been the heart and soul of why I’ve loved my time at Hofstra University.

I’d like to take the time to write a letter to Danceworks – more specifically the members of this club who I’ve grown from because of their footprints left on my heart. If you were in Danceworks anywhere between 2015 to Spring 2018, this one is for you:

Dear Danceworks,

I’ve dedicated three years of my life to you. I’ve sacraficed a huge part of my free time, missing family events, and breaks within the academic schedule to fulfil my responsibilities to you. I’ve been on call 24 hours/7 days a week for years to jump on any situation I may have to mediate or rectify. Yes, most of the time I’ve had to do things at the most inconvenient times when I wanted to do almost anything else, but in the end, I loved every minute of it.

When I started at Hofstra University, I was a commuter. I absolutely hated it and my first semester I wanted to transfer. I looked into it and started talking to friends who attended other schools around the nation. I knew it was best to finish out the year so I sat on the option of leaving to pursue a different experience away from home. When my second semester started, I decided to audition for Danceworks Productions. At that point, I hadn’t really danced since I was 10 years old; I danced like the Tin Man does when Dorothy first meets him at that first audition. I didn’t get into the show that semester, but I wanted to take advantage of the other 66% you participate in. I hung out with you alone at the first social event and from there, everthing fell into place.

Within a month I was offered a room in an off campus house occupied by your members. I couldn’t believe it and I jumped on the opportunity. I continued to participate in anything I could and I even helped with selling tickets at the shows. I knew this club was something I wanted to be part of regardless of what I was doing. This mentality led me to run for Danceworks Productions executive board as Publicity and Promotions Chair. Long story short, I was elected and then re-elected the following year.

As I mentioned before, I hadn’t danced in a while. I wanted to grow as a dancer, as well as a leader of this club. I practiced and focused a majority of my time at Hofstra to getting better and eventually be casted into the shows. After another semester of not being casted, I had the privledge of being selected into the Spring 2016 and have been since. Once I was casted, I focused my attention on diversifying my abilities away from only doing hip-hop dances to eventually also dancing in contemporary and jazz pieces as well.

A few weeks before the elections for my senior year, I decided to push myself even further and run for President. What? I met you as a below average dancer and now I’m going for President of a dance club? This was no where near what I thought my time in Danceworks would lead to. I wanted to create a higher meaning of this club for myself so this was the perfect opportunity. I worked hard on my speech as I did everything involving you up to that point which resulted in my election as Danceworks Productions President.

My time at Hofstra has taught me five things about myself which I would have never learned if I didn’t audition for this club back in 2015. They are:

DANCE

Like I’ve discussed, I didn’t have a thorough background or training in dance. I took the time to listen to my peers in the club and, from that, I gained a better understanding on how to dance and how to look at dance from a technical standpoint. Your members are among the most talented dancers at Hofstra and this made it easy for me to see how to dance properly through observation and immitation. Thank you, Danceworks, for teaching me how to connect my mind and body, which I’ve applied to all aspects of my life.

PERSISTENCE

Many members don’t get casted into your shows, especially their first semester or two auditioning. This is inevitable and dance is competitive, therefore I had to learn how to take the rejection and grow from it. Many people have problems doing this but when you do, there are many more pros than cons. I learned how to take a “failure” and make it a positive. I didn’t get into the show my first two semesters, one of which I was on the executive board for. I could have dropped the club and sought a different avenue to get involved, but, let’s be honest, doing just that shows immaturity and lack of character. I used this rejection to become an even better dancer than I would have if I stopped trying to get into the Danceworks show. Thank you, Danceworks, for teaching me that failure is an opportunity to be better than if I was successful in the first place.

COMMUNICATION

Being on e-board means we are responsible for the operation of a club of over 150 of your members. Inevitably, I have had to communicate with almost each and every person in the club every year for three years. As President, this duty only increased and I had to mediate hundreds of conflicts and situations. This was extremely uncomfortable at times, especially because I’m friends with most of these people. But my time on e-board has taught me to have those difficult conversations and deal with circumstances I didn’t feel comfortable doing. As I dealt with these particular conflicts, I grew to understand I am capable of having these tricky interactions and have an effective outcome. Thank you, Danceworks, for teaching me how to handle conflicts in a mature and effective manner, especially when it involves friends.

 PRIDE

Imagine auditioning for something you worked really hard on for a year and you got shut down twice already. You’d feel pretty defeated. Now imagine you go into the following audition and get casted into, not only one, but two pieces! I didn’t know it then, but the rejection only allowed me to experience exuberance I would have never felt if I wasn’t shut down beforehand. Taking a step away from focusing on the dancing aspect of the club: the kid who had trouble getting into the shows a few times was elected President his senior year. I know back in 2015, no one ever expected that to happen. As I’m creeping on 24 hours left as President, I am the most proud of myself I’ve ever been. I don’t think I’ve ever been proud of myself until this past year as I’ve constantly reflected on my journey in the club. I believe I’m the only male President of Danceworks in history of the club and I think I’m one of a few, if the only, President of a dance club that didn’t have significant training throughout my life. I’m usually humble but I’m unique in this aspect and that’s an honor to say. Thank you, Danceworks, for teaching me to be proud of myself.

CONFIDENCE

Confidence. I’ve been in leadership positions throughout my middle school and high school careers. I have even taken leadership in elementary school when the teacher was obligated to handle a more crucial situation. I know I am a type A personality, but I’ve never been completely confident. Through all I’ve accomplished and grown as a dancer, friend and leader, I’ve been more aware of my confidence as a person. These past few years have put me in the best and worst positions of my life, but I’m still breathing and after careful reflection, I realized that my confidence has sky-rocketed. I’m taking this confidence and I’m in the process of creating my own business. Without this club, I would have never learned crucial life lessons of rejection, failure, success and discomfort. Thank you, Danceworks, for giving me the confidence to set up my life for success and prosperity.

These are only a few things I’ve learned from participating in Danceworks Productions and working my way to eventually become President. You have given me so many opportunities to grow into the man I am today and I’m beyond grateful for the things I’ve learned through meeting such incredible and talented people along the way. The members of this club have pushed me beyond what I thought I could achieve. This is something I will cherish forever and utilize as I take on the real-world post-graduation. I’ve watched this club become better and better each year and as I leave this organization in the hands of Morgan, I know you’re only going to get better. I cannot wait to see the club grow along with the members of this club. Thank you for everything you’ve given me, Danceworks, and continue to do so for as many people as possible.

With much love,

Tom Fraher

To the members of Danceworks who are graduating, coming back next semester or thinking of joining, you don’t know what you have until it’s (almost) gone. Be mindful of what Danceworks is giving you along the way and reflect on what you’ve taken away from this club. The more meaning you give the club, the further you will grow.

 

A Personal Letter to Hofstra University from a Soon-To-Be Graduate.

When my alarm went off this morning at 10 am (exactly an hour before my class starts), I decided to take the L for the day and miss my first class. I wanted to get to the gym but I didn’t want to go at night. I rested my eyes a little longer then checked my phone. 10:22 am. Alright, fine. It’s the last full week of classes ever and the second to last class for the course. I’ll go… I fumbled out of bed, got ready and dragged myself to class. I shared my mental struggle of the morning with a few classmates as I logged into the Hofstra computer. I’m in a social media and web design class so I’ve spent about 4 hours last week working on my ficticious company’s website home page. My last task of the assignment was to export it and upload it to a website simulator. 5 clicks and I was done! “Could not complete request because an unexpected end-of-file was encountered.” Lit.

My original vision of the day involved getting stuff done and skipping class. A “thriving” type of day one might say. But I changed my mind to go to class. A “responsible” type of day one might say. As the days pass, I catch myself verbally reminding myself how many days I have until graduation. “17 days,” I said as my professor told me to “start over. It’s not that complex.”

Despite the beginning of my day, I had the most amazing 4 years of my life at Hofstra University. I started as a Psychology major to get prerequisites done for a Physician Assistant Graduate Program. After one semester, Hofstra extracted realization I don’t want to fucking do that. (Side note: Professor BIO 12 and Professor Daniels are the reasons I came to this epiphany.) I spent hours in the library and still getting 60s or worse on exams. I don’t take it as I wasn’t smart enough for it, I simply realized that my brain doesn’t think the same way one does in the medical/biology field. I ran with this lesson and swithed my major to Marketing.  From there, my life fell into place.

Appreciation encompasses my feelings towards Hofstra as my time comes to an end here. What better way to show this than write a letter to Hofstra discuss my unfiltered opinions about the university itself? So, here we go.

 

Dear Hofstra University,

First of all, there really wasn’t anything you could do to get the bars back?  I feel like there was definitely some sort of agreement between you and McHebes.  Whatever, I’m not here much longer anyway.  I wanted to take the time to express my gratitude regarding my experience over the last 4 years as a student of this beautiful university.

I want this to be a mainly positive letter, therefore I’ll start with my complaints. Frankly, we all feel like you’re constantly trying to get money out of us. One time you took $4,000 from me without telling me. You also charged me $100 because you didn’t approve my loan efficiently and it didn’t get processed to you until after the due date. Aside from that, I only went to an advisor twice.  During my freshman year, I wasn’t sure how to do my schedule so I went to her to discuss what to do.  She told me to take a spanish credit because my college credit from high school didn’t fulfil the requirement. Guess what, Hofstra, it did. I wasted a semester in Spanish 3. It seems like a tactic to get as much money out of me as possible. Another complaint has to deal with, and I’m sure you get this a lot, the parking. You’re in the process of assembling a building in the middle of one of the parking lots. You had a parking issue to begin with and this construction is not helping whatsoever. Oh, and one last thing, HofUSA used to be tight; now it’s iight. I understand it’s a business and you were probably going to get more money out of it, but you’re thinking short term. You’re beginning to build a poor reputation which will wind up losing you more money in the long-run. Some friendly advice and my opinion as a consumer.

I would also like to share something else. I received an email about a month ago with the headline saying “We’re offering a new course – you may be interested!” Of course, it’s a social media marketing class. Long story short, I’m diving into the social media marketing/management field upon graduation. It’s not your fault, but I spent the last four years getting a degree and the semester proceeding my departure you’re offering probably the most useful class I could have taken; more useful than any class I had to take as an undergraduate student. I’m just being selfish because I understand it is a new and growing industry, therefore I want to thank you for providing this class to students. It could spark their interest in a growing industry and that’s ultimately the goal of college.

With that being said, let’s get back to the main reason I’m writing. Thank you so much for the experiences I’ve had here. I rerouted my career path and I’ve never been more excited about a job. I’ve made friends with hundreds of people who have made an incredible mark on my life. I joined Danceworks, I moved into their home, I became family with members of the club and I currently am the President of the club. This is one of the most impressive college organizations in the world which has taught me tons of things about myself as a person, professional and leader. I’m insanely honored to have worked for this organization and proud of my sucesses. I’ve also recieved an incredible education. Although sometimes many of them are of no interest to me, your courses are tedious and they establish a work ethic I never had before attending. I’m the most confident I’ve ever been in myself as a result of who I’ve become over the years as a Hofstra University undergraduate student.

I appreciate everything you have provided to mold my mindset and life. The friends, knowledge, empowerment, confidence, determination. I’m completely prepared for whatever life throws my way. Unfortunately and inevitably, it’s time for me to go.

Hofstra, we’re going to be homies for life. I will perpetually look back on these past 4 years with fondness and appreciation. Without you, I would have never learned crucial lessons about myself and the world around me. I will succeed because of this experience and for that, I thank you.

Stay Positive,

Tom Fraher

 

Life is about the experiences we have and the lessons we learn from them. The more we learn, the better we evolve as a person.  Hofstra University has given me the experiences I needed to lead a successful life after graduation. Positivity radiates around campus as everyone is waiting for summer. I, however, radiate positivity as I wait to begin my life.

 

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Are there any other undergraduate students on the verge of graduating or have already? How do you feel about your undergraduate experiences? I’ve been having this conversation with my peers and the positivity keeps me going!

 

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Breaking Up with my Phone

I ran downstairs to put my laundry in the washer machine at around 10 a.m. the other day.  “What are you doing up so early?” one of my housemates said as I half startled her while rushing to the laundry room.  “I’ve been getting up earlier recently.”

If you were to ask any of my friends about my sleeping habits a month ago, they would tell you I go to sleep way too late and wake up past noon everyday.  This wasn’t detrimental to my success because I purposely schedule my classes later in the day.  However, I’ve been reading about numerous success habits and I’ve come to realize my sleeping habits are damaging to mental health.  I decided to take action and make some changes to my lifestyle to improve my focus and mental stamina.

Throughout my life, I’ve learned that little changes yield big results – jumping into a lifestyle change is never going to work.  One slight change I made to my life was breaking up with my phone and not sleeping in the same bed.  Said without the metaphor, I began sleeping with my phone on my table about 10 feet away from my bed.  This did two things: I couldn’t lay on my phone in bed wasting hours scrolling through feeds and I wasn’t always anxious to check my phone for no reason right before falling asleep or if I got up in the middle of the night.

Until now, I have always had struggles falling asleep.  My childhood night terrors led to my mom giving me Melatonin every night to help put me to sleep and keep me asleep throughout the night.  Inevitably, I grew a dependency to and tolerance against Melatonin.  My only memories of going to sleep up until this point in my life involved laying in bed for at least an hour; tossing and turning to get comfortable and shut my brain off.

To focus on how fast this little habit has transformed my life, let’s look into the past 3 months of my life.  On January 23th, I (most likely) went to bed around 4 a.m. and layed there until I fell asleep around 4:30/5 a.m.  I woke up the following day around 12:30/1 p.m.  This was my usual sleep pattern for the first 3 and a half years of college.

On March 23rd, I went to bed around 1 a.m. (with my phone on my table – more than an arms reach away) and fell asleep around 1:30 a.m.  Although I was watching some Mad Men, I fell asleep easier than I did 3 months prior.  I woke up from this particular sleep at 9:30 a.m. (30-minutes before my alarm goes off).  It was my off day from the gym so I decided to read a little before getting up and taking a shower.  Over the past few weeks, this has evolved from a rare night’s sleep to a reoccuring habit.  I naturally get tired around midnight and fall asleep before 2 a.m and I get up before my 10 a.m. alarm everyday.  This gives me time to wake up, read and/or go to the gym, which makes me feel way more energized throughout the day, before I go to class and get work done for my job.  It’s been an incredible little habit that has transformed my lifestyle completely.

This is only one habit of a few that I changed to fix my atrocious sleeping schedule to match one of a (almost) normal human being.  I’ve also forced myself out of bed everyday by 10:30 a.m. with a 10 a.m. daily alarm.  This has trained my mind to turn on around the same time everyday, thus waking me up naturally without the use alarms.  It is the best waking up every morning feeling awake without an obnoxious alarm, rather than waking up and fighting with everything you have to get your head off of your pillow.

Do you have any tips or tricks for better sleep or to change your sleeping habits?  I’d love to hear them.

5 Ways to Overcome Senioritis

I cannot stand my professor as he babbles on about something I have absolutely no interest in. He shouts and uses ridiculous code names for scenarios to exemplify his ideas. I am currently 40 days away from graduating and I actually do not think I can make it that much longer.

Because I’ve already thrown tens of thousands of dollars at my university for my education, there’s no point of dropping out now.  Therefore, I’ve compiled a list of 5 ways I’m combating my serious case of senioriti

Write a blog post about it.

I’m extremely limited as to what I can do to keep myself entertained as I sit in class. I’m on my laptop because “phones are distracting” (what’s the difference if I’m not paying attention on my laptop or not paying attention on my phone?) so I have to make it look like I’m taking notes.  Writing a blog post to vent about my third-world problem of being anxious in class is a fantastic way of making it look like I’m taking diligent notes, when in fact, I’m not listening to a single word.

Count how many people in the class you’d sleep with.

Don’t lie to yourself, there are a few people in your class that you would definitely not say no to if the opportunity presented itself.  Classrooms are a great way to make friends but not necessarily the enviornment to get some digits and figure out if someone is d.t.f.. Use your imagination and daydream for a little!

Learn something you actually care about online.

There are plenty of blogs, YouTube videos and articles regarding a vast spectrum of interests on the internet.  Take the time to learn something you actually want to be learning.  For example, I’m a social media manager and digital marketer so I spend a good chunck of my class time reading blog posts about others who do a similar job or watch videos on the latest Instagram algorithm.  Instead of wasting your time paying attention to your teacher talk about something useless, find a venue to learn something that can better your future.

Organize your life.

I once heard the quote, “Failing to plan is planning to fail.”  Yeah, you can get away with going with the flow and getting everything done, but planning has been a huge key to my success.  I use Google Calendar to plan out my weeks down to the minute.  Take the time in class to figure out assignments due, when you have class and during what times you have to be at work.  This has helped relieve some anxiety of getting everything done and has given me a visual of what my week looks like.

Reward yourself for getting through the impossible.

I like to reward myself with the bar.  I’m the social media manager at a bar and grill so my “work” time is going into the restaurant and taking pictures/videos of the food, drinks, and environment.  When my classes feel longer than usual, I plan to go up to CANZ and have a drink as a reward for putting up with my professors all day.

These are only a few ways I keep myself entertained in classes I don’t care about whatsoever.  We all have our own means of coping with boredom so take these as you’d like or leave them.  I’d love to here other ways you pass time in class – help me finish my last 40 days of school!

 

 

 

 

How Coaching and Gymnastics Have Influenced My Mindset

I grew up and still am an athlete.  I’ve played tons of sports; baseball, lacrosse, tennis, track, skiing, volleyball – you name it.  When I was in pre-k, my mom was offered a job as a gymnastics instructor and took it.  At that point, I had already done gymnastics for a year or two, but my mom’s career influenced my elementary-school years to be spent in a gymnastics facility.  Once I was able to stay home alone without my parents, I stopped taking classes on a regular basis; however, my mom continued to coach and my sister became a competitive gymnast.  This may not be a surprise, but eventually I began coaching gymnastics myself.

By this time, I had learned a vast repertoire of skills.  On top of that, I can’t even estimate the number of gymnastics meets I’ve sat through.  I had developed an understanding and an eye for the technique and judging of the skills.  Through past training, countless observations, and learning how to coach skills I was unfamiliar with, I applied what I told my students to do to myself.  In my mind, the more skills I was able to do, the better and more effectively I could teach someone else.

My Bronze IGC gymnastics team in the beginning of 2017.

This job enabled me to understand anything is possible if you put your mind to it.  Also, I learned that converting knowledge to action results in great rewards.  When I taught myself and executed a new skill based on my understanding of how to teach one, I would be flooded with accomplishment and pride.  Let’s be real, gymnastics is a scary-ass sport; you are literally throwing your body against gravity and doing things you probably shouldn’t . There’s a overwhelming amount of mental strength involved, so when you can overcome various fears, you learn what you are truly capable of.

Our minds are more fluid than we think.  In my opinion, if you want to be excel at gymnastics, you MUST have a stronger mind than body.  The same holds true for obtaining any goal.  In other words, if you break down the steps you must take to obtain a goal, you will have the building blocks on how to reach whatever it is you may desire.  From there, all you have to do is execute.

I think many of us expect everything to be perfect or accomplished instantly; I’m guilty of it too!  It’s up to us to take a step back and understand that great things do take time.  We’re going to accomplish everything we want to as long as we continue to work at it.  Looking back at my experiences so far, everything I haven’t excelled at have been things I didn’t allocate the proper amount of time and planning to be successful at.  If you want to succeed at something, you must put in the effort to define the goal, break it down, and execute.

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Danceworks Productions is More Than Just a Club

Starting college is like jumping off of a cliff into dark waters; you see the water but the water is a mystery. Is the water going to be fresh or salty? Is it going to be warm or cold? Is it deep or shallow? For me, I jumped in with my arms out and mind wide open. I hit the water and made a fantastic group of friends. From there, it’s been nothing but a deep, warm, fresh water lake. I’ve learned a lot about myself. However, I couldn’t have done this without becoming involved in Hofstra’s largest club on campus, Danceworks Productions.

Me posing for a dance recital around the age of 7.

Fortunately, I had a mom who wanted me to do (almost) everything. She made me, my brother, and my sister do dance for at least one year. My brother dropped it after the first year, but I continued to learn how to dance. I dance for around five years (ages 4-9). It’s not that I lost interest in it, I actually was annoyed by another dancer in my hip-hop class and decided to stop. Although that was it for dance lessons for me, I never stopped dancing whenever I was listening to music.

Dancing at my high school’s Battle of the Classes in 2013.

My first semester of college was the shortest amount of time I ever learned so much about myself. I was thinking about changing my major and figuring out how I’m going to leave my mark at Hofstra. My lab partner was a dance minor and got me to go to the fall 2014 Danceworks show. I had an amazing time in the audience; in fact, I went to both shows. Watching the professionalism of the students and the energy I felt throughout planted the idea that I wanted to be up there someday.

Just before the auditions for the following semester’s show, my lab partner texted me to remind me. We met up and both went to the auditions. This audition was much different than a normal audition; everyone created a welcoming environment and it was an amazing time. Unfortunately, I didn’t make it into a piece that semester.  However, Danceworks does more than just dance – it is also a social and philanthropic club. I went to hang out with the club members at their off-campus house by myself for a social event. Every member welcomed me with open arms. This was the start to how the rest of my college experience was going to pan out.

 

Hanging out for one of the first times with Danceworks Productions!

I commuted my freshman year and I hated it. I loved everything about Hofstra, except for the fact that I had to drive 20-40 minutes one way each day. This prompted me to apply to be a residence assistant. I got through both rounds of interviews and was awaiting the email regarding the decision made. On February 24, 2015, I woke up for class with a Facebook message from one of the Danceworks members. The message read, “Hey Tom I was wondering if ud be interested in living in the DW house next year?” I explained how I would love to but have to figure out the finances and logistics of living there. She told me to just let her know as soon as I figure it out.

Danceworks has club meeting every Monday at 6:00 PM in the Student Center (room 142 to be exact). I had class until 5:55 PM, and on my way to the meeting, I had received an email informing me that I did not get the RA position. YES! I know – not a typical reaction to not getting something you interviewed and worked hard to get. The RA job would have given me free room and board, which I would have saved a boat-load of money. However, deep down, I really wanted to be living off campus. I entered room 142 and gave the girl who offered me the room in the house the thumbs up; she knew exactly why.

The night I was inducted into Hofstra University Danceworks Productions’s executive board in 2015.

I continued going out with the club. I began to get to know many members and became an active member of the club. As the semester dwindled to an end, elections for executive board positions came around. At this point, I had decided on changing my major to marketing, so I figured I would run of the Publicity and Promotion chair. Luckily, I got elected which enabled me to become even more involved in the club. I served as the P&P chair for two years (my sophomore and junior years). My involvement in Danceworks has been nothing but positive and I am grateful for the experiences each member contributes to my college experience.  Because of that, I ran for and am now the President of Danceworks Productions at Hofstra University.

I couldn’t tell you where I would be right now if my lab partner was not a member of Danceworks and urged me to come to the shows back in 2014. I would not have the family of friends I do now, have had the opportunity to grow as a dance, and have the honor to part of such an amazing club.

Me featured in Kevin William’s Danceworks Productions piece in April 2016.

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